


His Blood Is On My Hands( DISCONTENUED)

by LoveToCreatexox, Muffencatt38



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Hurt No Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Neglect, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-27
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-06 07:32:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17935499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoveToCreatexox/pseuds/LoveToCreatexox, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Muffencatt38/pseuds/Muffencatt38
Summary: The sides secretly loved Virgil. they loved his hair, his eyes, his clothes, and the way his smile could light up the room. but they never told him. They never told each other. they were afraid the others would look down on them if they told them. So Virgil got treated worse and worse each day. He cut his hair, changed his clothes, dulled his eyes, and never smiled. so the others started to dislike him more and more. Until one day, everything changed. but was it for the better or worse.





	1. Chapter 1

   When they first met Virgil, they didn't know what to think. The thoughts in their mind went wild 'Is he nice. His name suggests otherwise. Anxiety. Ya sounds bad. But he doesn't look bad. should I be friends with him? But what if the others don't like him. I don't want to lose them.. so I wont.. I won't like him. ya...thats it.'

  And that's exactly what Patton, Logan, and Roman did. They would ignore him. If he would talk they would listen then turn him down. If they went somewhere in the mindscape, they would take him. They would get him to do the activities they did. But they would never talk to him in ways friends would. They would talk to him more like he was an annoying coworker that they were stuck with. Their cold nature was slowly driving Virgil to hate himself. But he would never tell them. For they would never care or at least that's what he thought.

  The other sides had noticed that Virgil was different from when he first came to be. Because at first, Virgil would smile and thank the sides for taking him places. He used to smile every time they just sat there and listened to him. he used to wear long sleeve shirts and roll them up when he went outside. And his hair was silky and always washed and kept a decent length. But he changed. Now he never smiles, never says thank you. He doesn't even smile when the others do something funny. He only wears long sleeve clothing, he never roles up the sleeves, and he cut his hair on one side so his bangs would cover one side of his face.

The only thing Virgil does that he has always done is to take care of the sides if they get hurt. He would help them bandage up, but before the others could make conversation with him he would walk away from them. And if they tried to stop him, he would just say he was to busy at the moment. 

  One day, the sides decided to go to the beach. They invited Virgil and he accepted. Patton and Roman played in the shallow water while Logan made a sandcastle. Virgil just sat on a towel under a parasole they brought. An hour into the trip, Patton and Roman noticed that Virgil wasn't playing in the sand or swimming with them. So Patton took it upon himself to go to Virgil and get him to come into the water.

" Hey, kiddo. wanna go in the water. its kind of cold but you'll get used to it." Patton says as he grabs Virgil's wrist.

" No... I'm fine" Virgil says as he tries to pull away from Patton.

Patton resists Virgils pull and pulls him up off the floor. "Come on kiddo. it will be fun. you just have to take off your hoodie first. I mean your already in your-..."

"NO!!" Virgil yells as Patton was about to take off his hoodie. He wraps his arms around his hoodie. "I'm not taking off my hoodie!”

All the sides heard him yell. they all looked at him first with confusion then worried. And Virgil didn't like there stares. He started to panic.

'No. I yelled at him, He's going to hate me more. They’ll all hate me more. I.. I need to leave. Run.. RUN!'

And Virgil did. His thoughts were telling him to run. so he did. He ran away from the others despite them yelling his name. He ran off the beach and back out into the mindscape. He then ran back to his room.

"What was that about," Logan says as he walks over pushing his glasses up.

"I..I wanted him to have some fun so I..I tried to take his hoodie off so he could swim and he suddenly got very defensive" Patton explained sadly

"Well, that is concerning. I wonder why he did that. Maybe it has a special meaning for him. Though it seems he doesn't take much care of it. It has many holes and patches in it." Logan replies. Roman is speechless. his mind is saying something to him, but he doesn't want to believe it.'He's hurting himself.'

Roman stared blankly at the ground. the others noticed and Patton asked him " Roman kiddo, are you alright. What's on your mind."

Roman didn't know what to say. What if he was wrong, WHAT if he was right. He couldn't take the chances. So he said with a shaky voice and with his body starting to tremble " y..you don't th...think that h..h..he would cut himself..would he."

The sides eyes widened at Romans words. And they began to think.


	2. Running is hard...when you've hit a wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil cant hide the scars he has any more. What will the sides do when they've confronted him. With they tell him there feelings. Or will he be left alone again.

  Virgil ran, not looking back once. He ran to his room and locked it. 'They're going to find out.. no..they cant.. they'll hurt me.. the...they’ll disown me. What do I do...what..what..' Virgil thought to himself as he slid down his door. 

Virgil curled up into a ball, his knees to his face and arms around his legs. He looked forward towards his bed, and then to the shoe box underneath it. 'If they're going to hurt me... I better do it first..right' he thought to himself.

So Virgil got up and walked to his bed. He grabbed the shoe box and opened it. Inside was a small knife. He gripped it in his hand and then hovered it over it other wrist and made the first cut.

The blood dripped down his arm leaving a thin trail behind. He made another and another. Each cut he made, he watched the blood fall down his arm and to the floor. He overlapped his cuts to ones he made a long time ago..if you could consider a week to be a long time ago.

Virgil was 2 seconds from putting the knife back in the box when his door swung open. It slammed against the walls of Virgil's room. And Virgil dropped the box, littering its contents onto the floor. Allowing the 3 sides that came crashing in see the crimson-covered knife.

"...K..Kiddo..." Patton couldn't help the tears falling down his face. He felt his heart burnt. He felt ashamed of himself. 'OH GOD... this is all my fault...i..i did this.. I made him do this oh god..' Patton couldn't think straight.

Roman didn't hesitate. He ran over to Virgil and grabbed him and pulled him into his lap. He pulled against Virgil trying to escape and held him on his lap. He started crying into Virgil’s shoulder and whispering sweet soft words to him. "It's ok.. you're ok. you don't have to do that anymore. please. hold still so we can take care of this."

Virgil stopped fighting.. he sat in Romans lap. He watched as Logan came in with first aid. He heard their cries, not of shame or hatred. But of love and sorrow. And he began to cry " I'm sorry" over and over again. As they reached his arms "I'm sorry" as they told him it was going to be better "I'm sorry" and as they hugged him and held him tight. "I'm sorry" was the only thing Virgil could say.

** 3 WEEKS LATER **

  Virgil was better. He never hides his arms anymore. He smiles more, he talks more, he laughs more. But... he's not fine. The scars on his skin reminded him of what he's done. The scars reminded him of the pain he made them feel. and today...he heard a new voice in his head. It wasn't his own, it was a quiet voice at first, but it slowly got louder. It would tell him how much he didn't belong. It told him that they might love him, but he would only cause them pain. It told him...to come home, to come home where he really belongs. to travel through the mind and walk through the barrior that separates Thomas's thoughts from real and fictional. 

Virgil ignored this voice as he didn't think it was right. But the more and more he heard it. It made him want to adventure over to the other side. Maybe just a quick look or glance but nothing else. and the day came that he did. He left a note on his bed telling the others were he went. and he told them about the voice in his head, and were it wanted him to go.


	3. How dare he

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deceit talks to Virgil. and then there's sorcery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry, I haven't written anything lately. School is taking up most of my time. even over the weekends.

  Patton went to wake Virgil up at 7:30 after he made breakfast. He walked up the stairs and down the hallway. He passed Romans room to his left, his room to the Right, Logans room, then to Virgil room down to the very end of the hall. When he reached the door he knocked lightly and said " Virgil kiddo... you up. breakfast is ready."

 Patton didnt get an answer so he opened Virgils door. When he did he was hit with the breeze from virgils open window. "Virgil...Kiddo were are.." Patton found virgils note taped to the upper side of the open window.

It wasnt long that patton had gone upstairs to wake Virgil so when he came bulting down the stairs to meet the eyes of the otheres sitting at the table, everyone jumped up and over to him." Pat. Whats wrong. weres Virgil." Logan says as he grabs patton comfertingly by the arm.

"i...its virgil... he.. OH GOD.." Patton says out of breath.

" Patton calm down. What happened." Roman asked patton as they moved him to sit down on the coutch.

" Read" Patton said as he shoves the note in Logans face. And logan dose, out loud.

 

" hi guys. I wont be out long but if im not back in time for you to wake me up i have left you this note. Latly ive hurd this voice in my head telling me to walk throw the worest of dreams and walk out past it. It tells me that im not in the right home and that i should come home. i know im in the right place so i wont stay. I just want to see whats there. The voice then started telling me 'lies." Logan paused.."lies" he repeated before contenuing. " the voice keeps changing. atfirst it was a mans voice that was raspy and he always over exagerated any s sounds he said. Then it was a proper lady who talked kind of dully. As i said before, I shouldnt be gone long. See you soon. Love virgil.

 

P.S i left at 5 and i didnt eat. so if you could make me somthing for when i get back, that would be greatly loved." Logan ended.

Roman looked at Logan and Patton before saying " He dosnt know who he is dose he. He dosnt know who deceit is or what he dose. Hes going to try and use him against us." And with that, Roman began to cry.

Patton grabbed Roman and Logan into a hug and then whispered into there ears " its ok. we can get through this. he'll be back. i know it."

2 hours pass after the sides had originaly read the letter. Roman was pacing in the living room while logan and Patton were making lunch in the kitchen when they hurd the commons room door open. When everyone turned to see who it was, Roman was the first to hug the trait that walked in. But in return he got a brutal shove backwards. Causing him to fall to the floor.

**Author's Note:**

> no one liked my original work so I might as well stick to only fanfics.


End file.
